FOR ALLWAYS

I want to write a song
a song that differs from the rest
not to be the best
and not to show you what is wrong

every single word you sing
refers to sorrow, joy and love
and how those circle everything
is how God combines them all above

BO’ring, I sing, I feel there should be more
I’m tired of the core,
the origin of feelings
I feel like I’m the whore
of God and what he brings

Is there something else still to discover ?
Like a sixth or seventh sense maybe ?
Or a never leaving lover
you will find out how to see

for allways

Dragon, Key and Icecream

So, what. I will start like this. I have a beginning for my story, finally. And this is about what you will do in the future, but what you are now already, actually. Some might not understand, but some might see.
Okay, man. There was a girl. She was young, very young, and as soon as she went to school, the teacher asked her and all of the class what they will do in the future, when they are grown.

And the children said I want to become a doctor maybe for pets and animals or for human beings or become a fucking firefighter, you know, and they were all quite sure about. And the young girl, she was quite sure about, as well, then when she said „I want to become an author, writing stories and telling them“, she said proudly and loudly.

She forgot about this for a long time while growing up then because of many influences from outside and inside, they were seeming to cut her soul and cut her mind into thousands of pieces, like she always loved those for puzzles and mystery games to complete and to solve so they would show up a beautiful, clear picture in the end.
Nevermind.

And then she thought she was grown adult, until someone told her she was still a little child like he asked her what will be your job, when you’re grown? And then she couldn’t find an answer first because of anything she could do and all the opportunities and chances in the world she could miss if choosing only on one thing. This kind of thinking made her sick. An imagination of a beautiful future which seemed to be impossible to realize because it was only on her mind and future.

And one day she decided to wake up and she asked the question again to herself. Like: „What will be your job?“ But then she found some answer. Like: „There is no „will“, there is only now. And I always knew what my job should be, but I never saw, I never knew that my job already was. I’m an author and I like to tell stories, write them down and spread around. For sure. And she had an answer inside how to become happy: This is all not about cash you can earn, money as gold, this is about heart and joy you can earn if only someone likes your job, man. And you can sell and pay it with your heart and not with money.“

And so she was sure about what her fucking job was because it had always been the same and that never changed for real, and then she recalled one memory about class test in 3rd grade, when the teacher handed out a list of keywords, the kids should pick out three of them and write a fucking story about. And the girl decided on Dragon, Key and Icecream.

And this is what she wrote as a damn smart eight-year-old girl:

There was a dragon locked in a cage in a basement of a huge castle, so a monster deep under actually, and there was a boy, a little boy, who visited the castle to see its beauty, but somehow he found out about the dragon deep under, because he was curious. He went carefully downstairs, sure not to be seen by anyone, and then he saw the dragon in that deep, heavy basement behind some hard iron bars and it was dark all around but only little light to see the dragon. And the boy was fucking scared and fearful at first but then the dragon said „Hello“ and the boy did the same. And they started to have some conversation. And in some way the boy started to feel sorry for the dragon, because it was caged and so he decided to lift him up, he wanted to help him.

„How can I get you outside of here?“, he asked. And the dragon said: „There must be some key anywhere, I don’t know.“
However, the boy was not able to find any key and so he got sad, but the dragon said: „Don’t be sad man, you help me a lot being just here for me and you’re a really nice boy, man, believe it.“

And the boy, he got somehow much happier again, much more relaxed and then he made up a funny idea. He said to the dragon: „I have an idea, man. I will go and get some icecream for you, if you like.“ And the dragon, surprised as hell, happy about, waited patiently for the boy to come back when he was about to get some icecream from the market place. The boy got back then and gave him the icecream and they shared it.

And then, as put by magic hands, the door opened itself.

But this is not the end yet again. She got best mark for it and the teacher read it out to the whole class because the teacher was really fucking impressed.

The Whole

>> There was a boy with some scars on his body and scratches and wounds and he made up some funny stories about their cause and told exciting things about them to people who asked for.

And there was a girl and she had scars on her body as well like also scratches and wounds and she held up the truth to people about their cause and said this was damage to myself, I caused them myself.

One day they both met and they exchanged their stories, the boy the false and lying, the girl the true and crying. And they made friends somehow and the boy decided to be honest then one day and so he said: „Honestly, I have lied to you, sweetheart, and I want you to be sure I caused my scars myself, as well. I caused them myself, all of them. ‚Cause if I had taken much more care of myself and loved myself, they wouldn’t be there now, like yours.“

And the girl asked: „So, why have you lied to me? And why making up such strange stories?“

And the boy said: „Well, they are much more interesting, I think. And people listen to me then, more carefully and interested.“

„This is not damn right“, the girl responded then, „how can those stories be more interesting than truth?“

And so the boy asked: „So.. you prefer my second version I’ve told you?“

„No“, she said, „I prefer the whole story about you who first lied about your scars and then decided to tell the truth like all the fucking story.“ <<