The most sorry I feel for the „dumbest“, those who don’t know it all better but get afffected by too „strong“ people/ characters manipulating them.

And I feel sorry for those who might believe that reading and teaching books at school about individual sorrow only would make more sense than teaching books about mass psychology.

Read them. Understand them.

I feel like I’m surrounded by a very big mound of people who are way too focused on their own problems, who behave like narcissistic dictators, who believe they are themselves the most important and who become more and more ignorant, respectless and unsocial.

This is big sorrow on my shoulders.

I had very good teachers in my life.

You must cry it out with tears. You must.

I can be my own teacher

I have dreams about being a director, directing my own movies. I would be a great director. Because I’m an actor as well.

I’m a director

because I’m an actor

: )

and that’s why you should call it diractor actually


But sometimes I’m lonely. I need some physical love. Only sometimes. When I hug myself while crying and I’m sure about I do this, I’m not ashamed, I see Gollum and I remember the decoration on my wall when I was 15.


Those few CDs, hehe, they’ve grown as well like double now

I even understand people now who see Gollum as a scary monster, a twisted mind, only insane. This is because of inability to love oneself. They are hunting for physical surrounding, desperately trying to find people and „friends“ so those friends can make them feel to beloved. They are afraid, only afraid of being alone and that’s why they will never find out about many beautiful things. I know this.

Loneliness is my second name. Lisa Loneliness. I’ve been growing inside of loneliness and isolation : ) ) I’m strong. Like Gollum. One day I will draw him and show you.

And this makes sense, you know? You’ve heard about Stockholm Syndrome? I know about and those conditions. If you kidnapp yourself and isolate and you fear to be killed by yourself (really high danger zone), you will fall in love with the one that kidnapped you. This is so true. You will be thankful and grateful for staying alive. NICE. I’m really smart.