what can I write for my diary what the world sees anyway

I lost my diary. The Dragon One. My lovely Poems. Are Lost. Mom said this might be a good sign. Losing old book for opening a new one. I should write more things.

Yesterday I made up silly one:

I cannot fall asleep – maybe I should count the sheep



Alright. Speedball sent me this song when I was 14, it was the first song he sent to me „U2 – I still haven’t found what I’m looking for“. I fell in love with, even though I already knew it. I fell in love with Speedball, as well. One of the smartest, most beautiful human beings on earth. I’ve got 17 photos on my computer and this is the most beautiful.




I can wrap myself in a blanket in bed
like a little cocoon
to tell them to leave me alone
all of my beauty shall not be shown
in the protecting light of the moon
to those who shall not be fed

They’re stinging, they’re biting, they’re hurting my skin
they’re trying to mash up my clean blood with sin
I hate you, the sound of the whirring in
as soon as the brightness is fading to dim

But then in the end when sun will be up
again, rising the sky without being shy,
finding a way out of darkness, the chain
in my brain of feeling insane –
slowly unleashing –
totally slain.