Wow, jetzt weiß ich endlich, was ich hab. Ich bin ein Schlafparalyse-Gestörter. Man nennt das auch Recurrent Isolated Sleep Paralysis. Also jeden Abend und jede Nacht leide ich unter albtraumhaften Parasomnien, falschem Erwachen und hypnagogen Halluzinationen.
Jede, seit Monaten. Das muss an meiner hohen emotionalen Intelligenz liegen, hab ich mal gehört. Oder na ja, zumindest bin ich vor etwas mehr als einem Jahr das erste Mal ins Reich der akustischen und visuellen Wahnvorstellungen eingetreten, vielleicht hat mir das die Pforten zu Übersinnlichem geöffnet. Ja ja, ich hab schon immer gesagt, ich werd wohl von Dämonen bewohnt.
I want to write.. I am missing my book, the dragon one. For real. I wrote some phone numbers inside, someone could call them and ask for if he may send this book to anywhere. To me of course. But he/she won’t. Noone cares about dragon books. It must be, still, in psychiatry. Nevermind. Someone said you will get everything back what you lose some time. I don’t want a guitar because I don’t play any more. My powers are off for playing guitar. But, some how, in a very special way I will get back my fucking Nokia phone. I smashed it at a wall outside during one of my worst paranoia states, I thought an atomic war would start right now and the government of ASIA, AMERICA and EUROPE at the same time they would listen to my words and connect via my Nokia phone.
The smarties would travel Scandinavia, the Money Kids would travel America and those socialists they would go to East Asia and the most intelligent and calm people like me they should stay in Germany because Germany rules the whole world. A triangle you know and Germany in the centre. That was my paranoia. I broke everything. Even my headphones. But some how someone found my Nokia and he phoned my Mom and he will send it back.
Am I paranoid ? Please tell me anyone. I laugh at people who say „Trump“ will not win anyway, and even if he will not be able to change anything because of the „laws“. But haha, you don’t see everything. They were laws before, they got broken.
And people didn’t expect the Brexit to happen. And it did and all were shocked but this is what is happening. And Turkey.. I don’t know. We don’t need to talk about. I am happy I live in Germany, it seems to be one of the strongest places still in the world today (first will be the last and last will be the first).
I worry about international companies suck up small ones with money (money rules the world with pressure and force and threatening, corruption, this is true) and somehow getting richer they become more robbering. WordPress.Com is a free homepage still but it has less chances and possibilities then the place I was before (German homepage). And.. at the same time it is much more complex and complicated to understand. You need to be very concentrated to understand and built up your profile and page. They make it hard for people to understand all things easily about privacy, intimicy, options, settings, anything, so the basic settings are inacceptable for real but people don’t mind because they are too lazy to understand what’s meant between the lines.
And this is something I worry about. I don’t feel comfortable in a place which is going to be ruled by US-Americans who are going to be ruled by Nazis maybe.
Am I paranoid ? Am I ?
Maybe I should not tag my entries with „Trump“. Should I ?